Monday, May 28, 2012
Under One Roof
Well, it happened. After much talk, and an ample amount of planning, Abel and I have combined our lives, and are now under one roof.
It's a big step, yet it feels like the right move. My life couldn't be any more different than it was just two years ago. I feel like a different person, having endured so much, and having gained so much. For those in the know, I lost my late husband to a brain tumor in September 2009. After many months of grieving in our home in San Francisco I decided what I needed, what my family needed, was a change of environment. I sold the house, took an early retirement, and landed in sunny San Diego.
Because my husband knew he was dying, he had plenty of time to reflect on our life together, and what he wanted for me in the future. What he wanted, and what he truly believed would happen, was that I would find a new love, and that I live happily ever after. As for me, it was difficult to imagine myself with someone else. Yet that is what happened. Almost two years to the day, I met Abel.
I love Abel with all my heart. I can safely say, he loves me as well. Our hearts, and our spirits, are quite in sync. We seem to have a simple, uncomplicated love for each other. There are challenges, yet those challenges are not between us. The challenges we face as a couple have more to do with those we love the most. His family, and my children. At first glance Abel and I appear very similar. We are both Mexican American men that come from big loving families, yet we come from very different religious traditions. While my family has come to terms with my life as a gay man, his has strong convictions that are in conflict with who we are. While Abel has grown to care very much about my children, being a part of a family of teens, a young adult, and a grandchild is a tall order for a new relationship.
How do we face these challenges? We talk.
How do we get through the tough times? We support each other.
What is our plan? It's simple. To love each other one day at a time.